From South Africa to the U.S.: Redefining My Judaism

OPINION—Every Friday night in South Africa, I sat in synagogue as the familiar prayers began. That was the only way I thought Judaism could be. That all changed when I arrived in the United States. 

Growing up in South Africa, Judaism was almost entirely Orthodox. I lived in a community where everyone followed the same norms of Jewish life: we attended synagogue on Friday nights, celebrated every Jewish holiday, learned Hebrew, and went to Jewish private schools. To me, being Jewish meant adhering to these customs, and I assumed it was the same everywhere. I was mistaken. 

In the United States, I quickly began to realize that Judaism here was unlike anything I had encountered before. My eyes were suddenly opened to a variety of new Jewish communities, such as Reform, Conservative, Modern Orthodox, and Bukharian — some I had never even heard of. 

It was this diversity that challenged my previously ingrained views and forced me to see my religion through a new lens. At first, it was overwhelming, and I avoided exploring the topic altogether. But gradually, exposure to these different customs and traditions completely reshaped my understanding of what it means to be Jewish. 

I began to see Judaism not as a rigid set of rules, but as a broad system of beliefs and values. Many customs I had assumed were universal were only specific to South African Jews. For instance, women did not put on tefillin, read from the Torah, or even touch it. These were simply norms with which no one argued. Similarly, it was a common custom for Jews in South Africa to only keep Shabbat if they were considered religious; most secular Jews did not observe it or other Jewish holidays. This created tension within my family as we tried to find our place among the diverse Jewish communities in America. 

No community matched what we had known before. Today, I tend to describe myself as a non-religious Modern Orthodox Jew, a label that most closely reflects my "South African Orthodox" upbringing. Yet, my family does not keep Shabbat and differs from the typical Modern Orthodox family one might expect. And that is okay. Jewish identity is not one-size-fits-all. 

Over time, I have learned to embrace who I am and where I come from. Adapting to a new form of Judaism while adjusting to a new life was not easy, but I have grown to appreciate the unfamiliar tunes, words, and customs I encounter in America. 

I hope to continue exploring these new cultures while honoring my own heritage. In the end, I have come to understand that Judaism is not defined by a single place or community, but by the meaning and values we carry with us wherever we go.